


Lick Ass Suggestively

by bluemooning



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Hand Jobs, Humor, M/M, Nipple Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 12:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7801855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemooning/pseuds/bluemooning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Lance purchases a set of sex dice, he and Keith have no other choice but to use them. No other choice at all. Nope. None. Zero. Zip. Nada.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lick Ass Suggestively

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this with one goal in mind - to desecrate my favorite Paladins. Enjoy!

“Bon appetit,” Lance sang to the air as he presented tonight's dinner to Keith. Silence hung heavy over them both while Keith examined the spread of dishes. A platter of pizza rolls was off to the side, while a tray of burnt buffalo chicken wings served as the main course. To top it off, a bowl of some black, unidentifiable goo fizzed ceaselessly.

“My compliments to the chef,” he said stiffly.

Lance beamed, and began to help himself. But his fork and knife were immediately smacked out of his gluttonous grasp, by none other than Keith himself. Instinctively, his eyes welled up with tears.

“What the hell, man? I worked hard on this,” he said, and his tears began to come harder and faster.

Keith sighed. “I'm sorry,”

More silence hung between them, punctuated by Lance's sniffling.

“Wait a sec, I take that back,” Keith said suddenly, with his brow furrowed. “First of all, you never burn buffalo chicken wings. Second of all -“ he said, and Lance tensed up, “- I got an email from the bank today,”

“Did they give us a million dollars?”

It almost pained Keith's heart, seeing his boyfriend smile like that, and knowing that Keith himself would be the one to take it all away. Almost. “No, Lance, they didn't give us a million dollars. But they said our checking account got overdrawn,”

Lance stroked his chin thoughtfully. “ _Did_ they now,”

“They did,” said Keith, his left eyebrow twitching. “So I checked our statement online, and it said -“ he paused for dramatic effect, “- it said, our last 96 cents were spent at Aphrodite's Sex Shack,”

Lance grew pale at the name. He sputtered and struggled to form words, but nothing came out of his big mouth.

Keith's right eyebrow began to twitch. It really was such a sight, seeing his eyebrows samba away.. “Lance, _why_ were you at Aphrodite's Sex Shack?”

“It's not what you think,” Lance cried out. “It just happened to be on the way home from class, and they were having a sale, and -”

“Lance,” Keith interrupted him, “what did you buy there?” Upon seeing Lance shrink in his seat, he sighed again. At this rate, he would run out of breath to spare. “I promise I won't get mad,”

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky _swear_ ,”

They pinky promised on it.

Lance couldn't help but grin when he reached into his pocket and pulled out a trio of dice. He tossed them onto the table, and Keith squinted at the inscriptions on their faces.

“Sex dice,” he said flatly.

“Sex dice,” Lance smirked. “Fifteen percent off, baby,”

“We’re the same age,” said Keith. Ignoring Lance's squawks of protest, he took the dice in his hands and inspected them further. Each die seemed to have it's own purpose. There was one with actions, one with body parts, and finally, one with adverbs. Keith turned them over in his palms, considering the possibilities.

“What the fuck were you thinking, Lance?”

“You said you wouldn’t get mad!” Lance cried out.

“I’m not mad! But...seriously, dude?”

He allowed himself another long-suffering sigh. Surely any sane person would have broken up with Lance by now. In fact, that was a requirement, so that they could be a couple in the here and now.

But when Keith looked at Lance, with his little puppy dog eyes and sad pout, his heart melted all over again. He looked back at the sex dice. Their faces were currently reading ‘Fondle breasts intensely’.

Despite himself, he smirked.

“You were a bad boy,” he said, “spending our last 96 cents on sex dice,”

Lance perked up.

“A very bad boy,” Keith said firmly.

“I can’t return them either,” Lance pointed out. “Because they were on sale,”

“They _were_ ,” Keith agreed with him. “So I guess...I’ll just have to punish you,”

“By using them!” He exclaimed, after seeing more tears fall from Lance’s eyes. “Who do you think I am?”

Lance wiped the wetness from his cheeks, and took a deep breath. He tried to hide his smirk, and it worked. Keith wasn’t even looking at him, having already started walking to their bedroom. He turned back and beckoned Lance with a finger, who eagerly followed him.

“Now,” said Keith, after they had stripped and set up mood music. Rick Astley’s dulcet voice sang on eternal love, on never giving up and never letting you down, as the two boys examined the dice more. “This is punishment for you,”

“Yeah it is,” Lance winked, and Keith swatted at him. But he missed, his palm waving wildly over open air. “You’re gonna punish me so hard,”

“I will!” Keith snarled, and rolled the dice. They bent over to read them.

“‘Lick ass suggestively’,” Lance said, and blanched more. “Oh my god,”

“You heard the dice,” Keith said dismissively. “Bend over,”

“Oh my fucking god,” Lance moaned, covering his face with his hands. “Right from the start,”

“Okay, listen here, Lance, you obey those dice right now and let me lick your ass...suggestively,”

As Lance got onto his quivering hands and knees, a thought struck Keith. How, pray tell, did one suggestively lick an ass?

Well, it was too late to look it up. Lance’s bubble butt was already in his face, primed for some tongue action. Keith examined the ass some more. It was a fine ass, firm and round where it mattered.

“Wait,” he said, “Does ‘ass’ mean like, the butt cheeks, or the asshole?”

“Do you think I care?!?” Lance cried out, and his blush went all the way to his peachy cheeks. “Just get it over with,”

This was only the first roll, Keith reminded himself. It would be best to start small. With only the smallest amount of inhibition, he leaned forward, sticking his tongue out. He licked the curve of Lance’s ass with the rough tip of his tongue, and then recoiled violently.

“Dude, what the fuck!” Keith wailed.

“What now, Kogane? What more do you want from me?”

“You fucking farted in my face! You don’t fart in a guy’s face when he’s licking your ass!”

Lance grew even redder all over. “Oh,”

Keith’s face was scrunched up while he attempted to wave the smell away. However, the shame would not leave so easily - not on either of their parts. With all the strength he could muster, he tried to shake it off.

“And it was a Silent But Deadly one, too,” he muttered under his breath, if only for the self-catharsis. Thankfully, it seemed like Lance hadn’t heard him. He was still wallowing in embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, collapsing into a heap.

“Dude, it’s cool,” Keith assured him, and picked up the dice. He rolled again, and the two of them looked to see their fate. “‘Fondle nipples intensely’,”

He gave both Lance and Lance’s nipples a once-over. Both boy and vestigial body part were pink and pert, ready for action.

“Okay,” he said, “That won’t be so bad, right?”

Lance nodded, and leaned back. He let out a breath when Keith pressed his weight upon him. Their half-hard cocks brushed up against each other, and it was dangerously erotic.

“Here we go,” said Keith, and he reached to take Lance’s nipples between his fingers. He rubbed the pad of his thumb hard against them, toying with the nubs. With each push and prod he inflicted, Lance gasped and cried out into the air. He was never one for silence, and though it could be annoying at times - right now, it did nothing but make Keith’s heart sing.

“Hey, are you sure that’s ‘intense’?” Lance asked with a smirk, cheeky bastard that he was. “It feels pretty mild right about now,”

“Whatever you say,” Keith said, and true to his word, he increased the fervor of his movements. His fingernails dug into the sensitive nubs, making Lance moan something sinful. Keith took each nipple between three fingers and tweaked them hard - and with that, Lance shrieked an incoherent note in the heated air.

Keith took a moment to survey the damages. His boyfriend was covered in a fine sheen of sweat, chest heaving, damp hair matted - and his nipples thoroughly ravaged. They were flushed dark pink and swollen from the stimulation, from Keith’s touch.

 _I did that,_ thought Keith, and his cock jolted.

“Oh, look at you,” Lance teased him, even in his wrecked state. “Aren’t you dirty,”

“I’m not done with you yet,” Keith reminded him, and Lance shuddered with his entire body.

They looked at the dice - so unassuming, and yet so deadly.

“You roll this time,” Keith decided, and put the cubes into Lance’s palm. “But I’m still doing the thing to you,”

Lance glared at him through half-lidded eyes. “Is this some kinda sad mast chasm thing, or something? Like picking my own punishment?”

“It’s sadomasochism,” Keith said. “And maybe,”

Being in no state to argue, Lance threw the dice - halfway across the room.

“You’re a fucker, you know?”

“But I’m your favorite fucker,”

Keith ignored the kiss Lance blew him, and got up off the bed. He squatted down over the dice. “‘Stroke cock slowly’,”

“Oh no,” Lance blurted out, and as Keith approached him with the most devious gleam in his eyes, he could only defend himself with words. But in this crucial moment, even they failed him. The stuff that came out of his mouth was a long string of pleading, begging. It didn’t suit him. Right about now seemed like a great time to melt into the ground. “Keith Kogane, if you’re gonna do what I think you’re planning -”

Keith shut him up with a kiss on the lips, soft and gentle. He pulled away far too quickly, and though the worst of the evil was gone from his expression, a fire still burned in his attitude. “Just shut up,” he said, and let the silence speak for itself. After all, the stereo was in between songs, making for an awkward pause.

As the sweet sound of ‘Miss New Booty’ began to echo over these four walls, Keith took Lance’s fully erect cock in his hand. It was a solid cock, a sturdy cock. And as long as Keith was around, it would be a useless cock, destined for late night masturbation sessions and edging from yours truly.

“You’ve got that look on your face again,”

“What look?”

Fear seemed to grip Lance’s entire being. “That look, like you control my dick or something,”

“But...I do?”

Lance groaned again. “Just do it, okay?”

“Do what?”

“Whatever the fucking dice said!”

“Oh, so _now_ you want to listen to the dice,”

Lance tensed up as Keith began to run his hand along the length of Lance’s cock, red and hard and desperate for relief.

“I - nngh -“ Lance moaned, “Do it faster,”

“But the dice said ‘slowly’,”

“Fuck the dice!” Lance reached out like he was gonna take matters in his own hands. But when Keith swatted at him this time, he was successful. It wasn’t even that hard of a swat, and yet Lance was sniffling and looking all pathetic. It really wasn’t fair, not at all.

Keith sighed. “You don’t want to use the dice?”

“No!”

“But you’re the one who bought them,”

“Yeah, because -” Lance tried to speak, but he seemed to have lost his train of thought. “I don’t remember, okay? Just, just get me off,”

“Fine,” Keith said simply, and with that, he began to stroke Lance’s cock ever so slowly, taking his sweet time. With each pump, he made sure to drag the moment out, and in the same vein, drag out Lance’s primal moans.

“Dude, I thought -”

“We’re doing this to the end,” Keith said, and the pad of his thumb toyed with the head of Lance’s erection, slick with precum and shiny in the dim lighting. Off in the far away distance, a flute concerto began to play. Lance made a face at the sound.

“Why’s that on your playlist?”

“It sounds nice, okay?”

As Lance sniggered, Keith went back to work. He begun to move with a little more pep, putting all those arm curls and pushups to good use. However, just as Lance squeezed his eyes shut tight and threw his head back, ready for sweet relief - Keith slowed down to little more than a crawl. Though his face was shadowed and out of view, Lance could have sworn that his boyfriend’s eyes were glittering with malice - sexy, sexy malice.

Against his better judgement, he whimpered high, not even caring anymore. So what if Keith teased his dick until it fell off? So what if he was doomed to a life of not being able to come? There were more unfortunate people in the world, and none of _them_ were complaining about their stubborn significant others.

But then again, their partners probably didn’t have a set of sex dice in their arsenal.

“Slow enough?” Keith asked, cutting in Lance’s hazy mind.

“Yeah,” he panted, and shuddered, and shook, and whined to Keith, “Please, Keith, let me come,”

With a couple more firm strokes, Keith did as he was told, sending Lance to the brink and beyond of the most amazing orgasm of his life...so far. It made the boy reel, back arched and hands gripping the sheets tight. It made him sob one long, strangled note, as he rode the aftershocks of his bliss. And then, once it had passed, Lance fell limp, breathing hard.

He craned his neck, looking up to see Keith jacking it - a lot faster than he had been getting Lance himself off, that bastard - and then he came on the sheets, the viscous whiteness pooling in puddles.

As the last strain of a Justin Bieber song faded to nothing, Keith turned the stereo off. He retrieved the dice from the floor, where they still laid so innocently. He tossed them casually on the bed, just to get them there. But when he moved to roll them for real, Lance reached out and grabbed his wrist.

“Look,” he said, and gestured to the dice’s new message.

“‘Love partner lovingly’,” Keith read. This time, when he smiled at Lance, it was warm and genuine and everything Lance could have hoped for. “Sounds good to me,”

He laid on the bed beside Lance, and pulled him close. They took long, deep breaths in and out. Their heated bodies pressed against each other and cooled down slowly.

“Oh shit,” Lance exclaimed, “The pizza rolls are getting cold,”

He tried to get up, to save the processed food item from a sinister fate. But Keith grabbed onto his arm and pulled him straight back down to the bed.

“Honestly, Lance,” he sighed, and hugged his boyfriend tighter, “you’re hopeless,”

“Uh...thanks, I guess?”

With a sigh, Keith nuzzled closer to Lance. It felt good, holding him like this - almost like they liked each other. And in the end, they really did love each other.

“So next time, I get to use the dice on you, right?”

“Lance, we are having a _moment_ ,”

“Oh,” said Lance, and he let Keith cradle him in his arms. The quiet settled over them and it was like a soft blanket, comforting them both. The sunset’s colors came through the window and the oncoming night made the room darker - but it was nicer that way. The last thing that Keith heard before dozing off, was the sound of Lance’s growling stomach. He made a mental note to get some takeout buffalo chicken wings tomorrow -  and then he was fast asleep.


End file.
